|Season 5, Episode 1|
|Air date||2 January 2005|
|Written by||Susan Nickson|
|Directed by||Gareth Carrivick|
Donna finds herself feeling horny on the day of her mother Flo's funeral. Gaz has erection troubles so Donna buys a cardboard cutout of the Chuckle Brothers in order to fulfill her sexual needs. After surviving the police shooting at the end of the last series, Jonny is a local celebrity and desperate to make the most of it. Louise is arrested for being responsible for Jonny’s shooting, but is later bailed out by Janet. Louise then confesses to Janet that it was she who was responsible for Jonny's shooting and Janet withdraws her bail. Louise ends up back in prison and Donna cures Gaz of his erection troubles. Jonny's press conference was to be outside of The Archer, but because Janet and Jonny couldn't see it, they decided to go home. News reporter Gordon Burns guest-stars.